integrity

what a beautiful day it is! isn't it? i've accepted the day and said to myself, "it's too beautiful out to not be happy, smile." so that's what i did. i smiled. i laughed. i'm appreciative. i've realized it's okay to experience different emotions while still trying to be happy. it's okay to be sad, but don't let it ruin a day such as today. life is too precious to let a day like today go to waste.

it's been a rough month for me or so it seems. i've been struggling a lot, many of you who read have probably noticed. but i try to stay positive, i try to stay the person that i am. and i'm telling any of you who read this. do things for YOU. do what makes YOU happy. be with who makes YOU happy. YOU are IMPORTANT too. and learn. learn from mistakes. learn to let go. learn to love yourself. learn to forgive. learn to be happy. because i've learned. i've learned a lot in my short 21 years of life. many have told me that... "i'm an old soul." i know too much about life for my age, i've experienced it. i've been through things, tough things -- that haven't only made me stronger but has made me to understand a whole lot more, about people, about life. looking at where i am today i honestly do feel old. old in the sense of i'm mature. the things i say, people are amazed at how i would understand such a thing or look at something the way that i do. i couldn't be more grateful, though. it has helped me through some of my toughest times. but sometimes i can't help but wonder, why me? why am i experiencing this? (again). haven't i already learned my lesson? hasn't this already made me strong? obviously not.

i feel that through my trials i do learn something though, even if it's something i've learned in the past.  i relearn about how important certain values are. one in particular that comes to mind and always has been so important to me, even at a young age is integrity. i learned about integrity in my achievment day activies. i remember having to do a night and the mom's had to pick a value that stood out to them in their child, my mom choose integrity for me. i've valued that more than anything in my life. but... what exactly is intergrity?

integrity refers to the quality of a person's character. such as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principals. it can even mean being reliable or trustworthy. who doesn't want to feel that way about themselves right? i surely want people to view me as a person with intergity. i guess it even helps me become a better person, because i would never want anyone to feel bad about themselves or witness pains that i have. i become reliable for that person's feelings and try and take their pain, or blame myself so they don't have to suffer. i truly believe that integrity is the best quality a person can have. it's what makes a person real. it's what makes a person worth trusting, or relying on.

i want anyone who reads this to really think about the person that they are, and to ask yourselves if you are a person with integrity.

and a little verse - charity suffereth long and is kind.

gah thank goodness for music, it's so therapeutic.

"Be still, my love open your heart and let the light shine in."