faith

i feel like i am in this thing that people like to call a... rut. in every aspect of my life - i hate not knowing what is going to happen or what is going to be. being at this point in your life is one of thee most stressful things a person can go through. i'm almost 22 and have no idea where my life stands. it's very daunting not knowing how things are going to turn out. i sometimes feel that i am somewhat of a control freak, that i must know everything, when really i don't. it's life. everything doesn't come easy. it's how we learn and grow as a person. it's the way we become who we really were meant to be. it's learning about being YOURSELF. not someone who someone else wants you to be. i just don't want to be a failure. i want to make myself proud and for others to be proud of me for doing what i want. i don't ever want to give up on something when it gets hard, i want to be able to push through it and say i did it, because that is the most rewarding thing - not giving up.

i was told today that making a wrong decision is better than making no decision at all. that statement hit me like a ton of bricks. how true is that? because if i never make a decision i will be in the same place in the next ten years, yet if i do make one (even if it's the wrong one) i've learned from it and have moved on to something new and different. life is all about the experience. it's okay to fail because you can get right back up and start again. and in the grand scheme of things... no matter what happens, everything will be okay. it takes a great amount faith. faith in yourself and everything around you, and faith in the big guy up stairs.

i stumbled upon a statement from a man by the name of, randy gage. he talked about having faith in the good. he said, "The passions and conflicting thoughts of human nature in their ungoverned state can be overwhelming.   Your thoughts don’t organize and direct themselves.  You must choose to be a critical thinker and supervise the process.  When you do this, your thoughts become obedient servants, to lead you to the life you wish to live and allow you to tap into the natural order of the universe, which is inherently good.

When you stand face to face with truth, you will understand that every challenge is a stepping-stone to build the character that allows you to ultimately triumph.  This has been decreed by every sage, saint and savior the world has ever known.  It is the process when you graduate from student to master…

You are not meant to be the whipping boy and suffer interminably.  The sorrows of life can be great, but they can be fathomed out, conquered, and used for greater good.   When we accept these lessons for what they truly are, we graduate from pupil to scholar, and manifest the health, happiness and abundance we desire.

This is accomplished by faith.  Faith is the dawn before the new day.  Without faith there can be no attainment of strength, no permanent security."

i know we all feel this way at some point in our lives, and that i am not alone. but there are sometimes where one needs to vent. lay it all out there. and... that it is okay to feel vulnerable because if you don't, how do you live? how do you feel? how do you experience something entirely new?