ride

okay... it's june. hopefully a much better month. i need it. i'm begging for it.

so many unexpected things have happend and i am so confused as to how to even go about mending them. however, with as crazy as this last month has been... it's helped me in so many ways. it's helped me to realize the kind of person i truly want to be. i've realized it's good to be nice, but it's never good to be TOO nice. who knew?! i've also realized that it's time to do things for me, because the moment i start putting myself first, i eliminate drama by half. this probably is going to be one of the hardest things to continue though. i never put myself first. i never think about what's best for me. i'm constantly putting everyone else before me and listening to what everyone else thinks is the best for me. this is not to say that i'm going to stop caring about everyone, because that is not the case at all, it's just to say that it's time to stick up for myself. i'm still learning, but i'm so done listening to what everyone else has to say, and how everyone else's needs and thoughts matter more than mine. i'm completely entitled to my own opinion and feelings and no one can say otherwise.

i'm going to start taking the time on doing things that i enjoy doing, exploring my needs, wants and interests. and tone down on the TOO niceness... it's given me nothing but bad news. i'm going to start acting like i am just as important as anyone else, and i deserve to be treated with nothing but respect. i'm going to stop caring about what everyone thinks and be my own person. because.... everything i want is just right outside my comfort zone.

i've been on a cary brother's kick lately...