7 weeks

It's been a bit since I've really said anything on here, which is probably good - means I'm busy... and busy is the best thing for me right now. I'm busy as I type this blog, technically I should be studying, but honestly I need a break. I head out to California in the next 4 days and I can't wait. I'm literally itching to get out of here. I have the overwhelming feeling of studying for finals (and passing), getting my essays done, editing pictures, packing, registering for next semester (should have done that long ago), Christmas shopping.... you get my drift. It's easy simple things that just add up to too much. I know my vacation isn't going to be long by any means, but I need it... I  need it bad. I need a little bit of a distraction in my life, I think way too much. I think about my future mostly - brings out the worrier in me, especially lately. You know that feeling, when for so long you had this idea or image in your head of how things were going to pan out? and...... they don't? Things change. Usually I am a frantic mess when things just don't work out how I planned, but this time... it's a little different. I'm not sure why but I feel different. I still feel the unease of being lost/lonely and trying to figure things out on my own but deep down, deep in my heart it whispers, 'you're going to be just fine.' and I believe it. By no means did I expect to be where I am now in my life, but I'm embracing it to the fullest. This last year has shaped me in more ways than I honestly ever could have imagined. I've learned so much about myself, others, and life in general. I'm in that stage of my life where I'm finally coming into my own skin - not being afraid. I'm learning about what I really want and who I really want. It's terrifying but so exciting at the same time.

It's been 7 weeks.... many of you may not even know what I'm referring to, and that's okay, because I know. 7 weeks.... 7 weeks of trying to be okay with where I'm at, I'm getting there. I'm becoming okay.

I don't know what it is about this song, but it makes me cry every time. It's beautiful.

what i'd give for that first night

when you were mine

tried with all that i have to keep you alive

i wasn't taught this way with a thousand things to say

i was born with a broken heart