phases

I'm in this new phase of my life where I have to, oh.... start all over? Okay, maybe I'm being a little dramatic - but that's what I seems like (me starting all over). I'm not very good at putting myself out there... in all aspects. It's definitely something I have been working on but it isn't easy, then again nothing's easy. At least things that are worth it aren't technically easy. I think I finally decided on a major in Business Finance (after 4 years of college YIKES!), I'm not thrilled but it's better that I make a decision even if it's the wrong one. This next semester is entirely math based - this girl is not excited about it... AT ALL. But I think I'll have room to breathe and actually focus on school because of the position I'm in. It will be refreshing to really focus and put myself where I need to be.

Also being in something for 2 years of my life was a complete comfort a nice comfort... now I don't have that and I have to step outside of the box again and do this thing that people call... dating? Boy do I suck at it. I most definitely don't have that natural flare of being a good date...It's a little bit embarrassing, then again I just can't care. And for once... I honestly don't care. I find it rather hysterical when men say that women are confusing when in fact it's the other way around. This is partly why I don't put emotion into anything and at this point in my life I don't feel that the emotion is necessary.

I have to constantly remind myself everyday throughout the day that it's all in time. Although, time is such a tricky thing. I find myself complaining daily about how fast time is going, but then I still feel pain in other parts where the time isn't healing it fast enough. Total catch 22.

And i fall on my knees
Tell me how's the way to be
Tell me how's the way to go
Tell me all that i should know

Well this tired mind
Just wants to be lead home

Anyway... on a lighter note.... I officially booked my ticket to The BIG CITY! NEW YORK CITY! I am so excited. I've been wanting to go there for sometime now.. and today my boss told me about a deal Southwest was having for ONE day... talk about total spontaneity! I love doing things like this though, I have no obligation to anything besides school and it's always nice to take a little breather from it. Madison and I have decided to continue to do things like this, ever since we went to California is made us realize how little our time is. We most certainly need to make the most of it and with that we are. I am one excited girl, then again when am I not when I get to go on a vacation? One hand in the air for the big city... let's hear it for New York!