Beats

Sometimes we're stonger than we ever thought possible, sometimes we're not. This is one of those times where I'm not sure exactly what I am. It's as if I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and I don't know how to get out. I try my best to be as optimistic as possible, but eventually we all break. We break to pieces. It's daunting trying to pick up those pieces and even try to begin to put them back together. Sometimes you just want to believe things so bad, so you do just that - believe. Never stop believing. It's what holds us together as a person, it gives us faith in everything, it pulls us through until the end. I won't ever stop believing. I want to hope for the best in every situation; however, it somehow doesn't make it easier. You still feel pain. You still feel that loneliness that was once filled. You still feel lost. You feel torn to bits. You'll do anything to get that moment back, even if it is for a moment in time. At least I would. I spend sleepless nights of every notion going through my head and I cannot escape it, no matter how tired I may be. It's just there.

When you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after such dark times you must grab onto the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt — this is not selfishness, but obligation. You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight.

This is now.