vibes

As of lately I have been on this self awareness kick. I never really noticed how important it really is to be okay with who you are. I'm getting to that age where I am really beginning to find myself. Finding what I like, why I like it and why I shouldn't listen to other people's opinions. For the past 4 years I have been in a complete whirlwind - and I honestly didn't think I would get out of it anytime soon. Yeah, we will always have our time and place for struggles - but everyday doesn't have to be one. I've noticed a big change in who I am, especially in the last two years... and even more so in the last few months. I've always been an extremely positive person towards others, but never myself. I find that odd? So I really decided to put my foot down and tell myself that I AM GREAT. I am so happy with who I am and where I am going. I'm not a person who likes surprises or not knowning, but I am going to have to start liking it because that is l.i.f.e. and I am now just realizing it. I've been reading several per se quotes and even books that have helped me immensely. I am such a sucker for words. I find so much value in them, yet they're just words. It can go both ways - being helpful or hurtful but that is for you to decide. As for me I find them helpful in certain situations, even when I'm in a sitch that I don't like or 'can't handle' I tell my self.... umm... YOU CAN handle it. YOU CAN handle anything. And honestly... I can. Yeah, it may be hard and I may be sad but it's not the end.

Being okay with who you are in one of the hardest things, because I feel like you have to fake it till you make it. Actually, I know you have to fake it till you make it. But I've realized that I'm never going to be 5'8 and have super long legs. I'm not ever going to be someone with blue eyes. I'm not ever going to be the girl who is stick thin and doesn't have curves. I'm going to be that girl who is 5'4 and can rock 5 in' heels. I am going to be that girl who has honey eyes. I am going to be that girl who has curves. I am going to be that girl who can act a fool and not care about the people judging her. I am going to be that positive girl in the worst situaation. I am that girl - and I am okay with that, day by day. I've started to make little goals a week that I will do everyday. Such as, waking up every morning telling myself it'll be a good day. Easy? yes. Honestly, this last week has been such a fantastic week - super busy but so good. It's been amazing the differences it can make in your life by the little day by day changes.

I have dreams and aspirations that I want to fulfill. I want to go to culinary school in Napa Valley, California after I graduate. When I told people about it first no one supported me and I honestly felt bad about it because I felt like I had to do what everyone else thought was best for me. After feeling like that for awhile I told myself... no. This is my life, and I know what's best for me. As I started to stand up for myself, I noticed people starting to support me. So don't ever let anyone tell you what's best for YOU because only YOU know. It's YOUR life and YOU need to live it for YOU.